Her reaction was basically this, at which point I collapsed on the counter and had an emergency Dunkin Turbo shot directly into my veins.
Later we took a walk through my hometown and admired the wintery landscape, the lacy tree limbs and frosty porch lights and drunken Giants fans falling into the snow. Despite these simple pleasures, a thought kept tugging on the back of my mind:
Now, I realize 95% of suburbanites follow basic human protocol and remove their sh*t by January 1st. It can be sad, taking down the pretty bows and bells and heirloom ornaments; it can be downright depressing, tossing that poor, used-up tree into the street. But if you or your loved ones have trouble letting go—or just want some festivity back in your life—Doctor Derby has your fix.
Make a wreath!
Yes, the solution is a ring of stuff hung from your front door. Nix the pine and ditch the orbs; there are a bazillion different ways you can celebrate the season—like, every season OTHER than Christmas.
Make it happy:
Seriously, I can’t overstate how easy it is to make a wreath. (You can also make it super-complicated, in which case you should read someone else’s blog.) Here is my three-step guide to wreathing:
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